THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO GET MARRIED When the parents of many of today's engaged couples got married, there were, basically, tow choices. One was to get married in church, often by their own minister, with traditional service containing the words "Dearly Beloved," let no man put asunder (when I was young, I used to wonder, "what is sunder?"), and "love, honor and obey," and the bride being "given away" by her father. The other was a brief, unromantic, stock ceremony by a justice of the peace.  Many parents of couples I've married that they would have liked something in between those two extremes have told me, but times were different and they just didn't have many options. Fortunately, things have changed.  Today couples get married in their homes, in gardens or parks, on boats-anyplace that is meaningful, or might be fun, for them. I have heard of weddings in amusement parks, in a fishing boat, on an airplane and even underwater.  I personally have conducted many weddings in amusement parks, in fishing boat, on an airplane and even underwater.  I personally have conducted many wedding ceremonies out-of-doors and even at the top of a mountain.  (A tip:  If you do it there in summer, you're likely to have mosquitoes as part of your bridal party, so prepare.) The biggest difference is in the ceremonies themselves.  More and more couples want to have input in the service and want a minister who not only allows that, but encourages it. Many people want something different, or maybe unique, but aren't sure what.  When a minister meets with a prospective bride and groom they can talk about possible poems, reading, music and unusual ways of using candles, flowers and friends in the service. Many people who are getting married have children from previous relationships. There are interesting opportunities for the ceremony to include the children, which help build the foundation of the new blended family.  There is also a Family Medallion ceremony that is very touching and quite effective; and the children get someyhing to keep as a reminder of their participation. Unless requested to do so, some ministers no longer use the word "obey" in their service.  More and more women feel that, as much as they love their father, he does not own them; therefore she does not need to be "given away." I have found that couples appreciate my willingness to customize a service just for them that can be traditional with me wearing my robe, spiritual but not "religious," strictly secular with no mention of God (this one surprises some people because I'm an ordained minister), or a celebration with metaphysical, Native American or New Thought components. Your wedding day is your day, and you have the right for it to be exactly what you want.  This is what will make the memories wonderful.  Don't hesitate to talk to your clergy or whoever will do the ceremony.  Tell them your ideas, no matter how unusual.  If he, or she is not comfortable fulfilling your wishes, find someone who is. By Dr. Dick Caldwell www.wyomingweddingsminister.com